We Are Family

     Let me start this by stating something painfully obvious: I am not perfect, nor am I the greatest example of a "good" Christian. I fail daily and struggle with my flesh every minute of every day, but for years (since high school) now I have been very aware of the struggles of my brothers and sisters (in Christ) in other countries.  When I say struggles, I'm talking rape, maiming, imprisonment, torture, and death for the crime of being Christian.  I have heard a passing mention (from pulpits) of our brothers and sisters "in chains" and how we should pray for them but that tends to be as far as some U.S. churches want to go.  

  The sad truth is most American "Christians" don't want to be upset in the least with all that stuff "going on over there".  However, now that a United States citizen is imprisoned in Iran (in 2012) for his "criminal" christian actions, a large group of U.S. Christians are crying out for his release.  This is good that people are protesting and demanding his release, and I don't want to sound like I'm scolding anyone for this,

 but where is the outrage for ALL persecuted Christians? Have you dared to look, or seek out just how many of our brothers and sisters are actually in chains, worldwide? Have you, honestly, not known just how bad the persecution is today? What do we do now? What can WE do? Does this make you feel guilty? Good, it makes me feel horrible. I, having known this information, have not spent enough time praying or getting the word out and I will have to answer for that. Now, what about you? Do you want to do more, know more? This is the best place to start that I know of: www.persecution.com this is the Voice of the Martyrs website. 

V.O.M has been serving the persecuted church since 1967 and was founded by Richard and Sabina Wurmbrand. They offer many opportunities to serve the persecuted church and they also offer a free magazine every month with articles and updates on our B.A.S.I.C. (Brother and Sister In Christ). 

    Please understand where I'm coming from with this. I don't want to condemn or attack anyone or belittle anyone, but instead I want to help open everyone's eyes 

to how big our christian family is and how we need to be lifting each other up. My fear is this, that Pastor Saeed will be released (that will be AWESOME) and once he comes back home we go back to our "usual" churchy routines and forget all about that little bit of nastiness. Please everyone remember:

and do SOMETHING!

Han Solo Is Frozen In What And Why?

    I love reading, or at least I used to really love reading (when I had time).  I read a lot when I was in Jr. High and High School and I loved reading all kinds of genres but my favorites were scary stuff (vampire/werewolves) and mysteries.  What I loved about reading was the journey, the build up to the big reveal...you know a good whodunit that has you guessing until the very end.  I always figured that that was what everyone loved about reading, the guessing...the build up...the big reveal.  However, I have  a cousin that I went to school with, grew up with, and she loved to read too.  One day in Jr. High, while sitting beside her, I noticed she was about to start a new book; what she did next was mind boggling.  She turned to the LAST chapter of the book and then proceeded to READ the whole thing.  This was not a sneak peek or a page or two, it was the answers to all the questions that would be asked in the bulk of the book.  I asked her what she was doing; she said she didn't like waiting to see what happens.My mind couldn't comprehend what was happening;  I walked around for days, my mind in a fog...I was in shock.  Nothing made sense anymore, the world stopped spinning, unicorns and leprechauns were real, dogs loved cats, cats loved mice, Danny was the cute New Kid for crying out loud!!

Alright, maybe that's a tad dramatic...but I truly could not understand why anyone would want to do that.  It's like telling someone within the first 10 minutes of The Sixth Sense that (****SPOILER ALERT*****) Dr. Malcolm is a ghost, Rose let's Jack go and he sinks like a rock (Titanic), and Grace and the kids are the real ghost (The Others). 
     This principle of following the story from beginning to end also applies to my love of movies and to a lesser degree t.v. shows.  Most t.v. shows (series) you can miss an episode or two and still know what's what, but most movie sagas are different.  I refuse to watch any movie (in a series) out of sequence, I find it to be blasph...sacreli...irreve...CRAZY, alright! It's just crazy to me to watch something out of sequence, ESPECIALLY to bypass the first and watch the second or (heaven help) the third movie.  Case in point: The Lord of The Rings.  How can you truly appreciate or even understand the struggle of these characters, the sacrifices made, why the ring is so bad, what in the world a Smeagol/Gollum is, or most importantly what kick-starts the whole journey?  Star Wars, could almost be the exception to the rule in that, when the world was first introduced to the series (in 1977) it was with Episode IV: A New Hope.  Now, even though episodes 1 - 3 gave you the background on Darth Vader, Jedi's, and the Dark Side; you really don't need that information to get the main story line of the later 3 episodes.  However, how can you even begin to understand why Han Solo was frozen in carbonite in Episode VI: Return of the Jedi if you didn't watch Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.

 
     Right now you're probably thinking, what's the big deal BigMamaWin, it's just a movie (book, t.v. show)?  Likewise, there will be someone or a few someones to say, "I'm with you, death to the out-of-sequencers!" My reply to the second group would be TAKE YOUR PROZAC and CALM DOWN!  It's not that serious!!! In all seriousness, I do have a point to this seemingly unimportant nerdfest.  How many of us have looked at someone (you don't know) and took their appearance, facial expression, surroundings, etc. and said __________________?  In that blank is the word/words of judgment you slapped on that person (whether out loud or in your mind) after just seconds of seeing them.  Let's say you work with someone and maybe consider them a casual acquaintance, yet you still have that ____________.  You know what I mean: he's a jerk, she's a whore, they're white trash, he's a messed up junkie, she's a crackhead, and so on and so on.  We've made our summation of another human being in one or two words, yet we resent being called such things or summarized in such a way.  How can you/I make an accurate judgment of someone when we've only seen the second or third "movie" that is that person's life.  Now it is true that if you witness (or have legitimate knowledge of) someone having sex with lots of people for money, by definition, that person would be known as a prostitute (whore or slut to the more tacky person).  I'm not talking about making informed decisions or accurate observations of a persons, I'm referencing the way we tend to summarize that a persons deeds (good or bad) are WHO they are.  Is that woman a prostitute, or is she in human trafficking slavery?  Has she been threatened with death if she leaves or tells anyone?

 Did that person on meth just wake up one day and say, "hey, I'd like to lose my job, my children, and be hooked on something that will age me by 20 years and more than likely kill me."?  I know there will be critics and cynics to what I'm saying and I want you to know, I understand you too, because we all have a beginning story. 
     My challenge to you and myself, is to consider a person's backstory.  How did he/she get this horrible title?  Is the reason she's a "bitch" because she has hurts so deep that NO ONE has attempted to LOVE past: the hurt/anger/pain/resentment to help her let go.  Is he an OVERLY macho, male chauvinist because his dad used to put him down all the time, call him a girl, laugh at him when he failed?  DARE...I DARE YOU to be willing to see the story from the beginning, to factor in a past that has led to the present you see in front of you.  It's just a thought.     

Christmas...Easter...Why are "Christians" celebrating these holidays?

     *Warning- the following post may cause some viewers to get their underoos in a bunch.  My hope is that it may cause a stirring in one's heart to truly study and understand why this is so very important.  You have been advised.*
     Let's see...it is my understanding that Christmas is supposed to be about the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ; Easter, the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.  So, why is it when you ask any young child who attends church every Sunday what Christmas is about; their response is: "it's when Santa Claus brings presents to good kids (or something along those lines)." Likewise, if you ask them what "Easter" is about, their response is: "it's when the easter bunny hides eggs and brings candy for kids" (again something along those lines).  Churches have easter egg hunts and even have "Santa Claus" come to the church's reception room and have all the kids come sit on his lap and tell him what they want for Christmas.  Why?  Why do churches perpetuate lies surrounding two of the most important events in Christian history?  Do these two seemingly "harmless" lies have ANY foundation in the Bible? What harm comes from these two "holidays" being passed off as "Christian" holidays?
     All you have to do is study the Bible and the accounts of the birth of Christ (Christmas) and the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ (Good Friday and Easter sunday)and you will discover some very important truths.  Santa Clause, reindeer, elves, and gifts for children were NEVER mentioned in the Bible and the same can be said for Lent, the easter bunny, hiding eggs, or finding candy in a basket.  Where does the name easter come from?  Well, that answer is very easy to find.  If you check the internet or go to a library to study the origins of both of these holidays you will find that BOTH were actually PAGAN holidays.  The word "easter", which is agreed upon by both religious and secular scholars, has it's roots in pagan religion.  In fact, the name easter is a revamping of the name of the goddess of fertility, and rabbits and eggs being symbols of fertility.  I'm not going to go into all of the history of either because, well...that's too much to type and I'm of the belief that one should make up their own mind.  Study both histories, the secular and the Biblical, discover for yourself that I'm not blowing a bunch of smoke.
     Now, if I'm not going to go all into detail about the history of these two holidays, why bring it up?  I'm writing this because I asked my 4 year old daughter, the other day, if she knew what holiday was coming up.  I know that they had been talking about easter at school; I figured maybe she didn't understand what I meant by the word "holiday"; so I asked her if she knew that easter was coming up?  She smiled and said "yes ma'am", and I said "can you tell mommy what is so special about easter?"; she said, "it's when the easter bunny brings candy and we hide eggs".  Her answer made me take a step back; in fact it upset me.  Why would/should that upset me?  I want you to understand that I am not upset with her by any means.  What upsets me is that she goes to Sunday school (almost every Sunday) and goes to a school that supports a Christian environment and yet when I mentioned "easter" Jesus wasn't even a thought in her mind.  "Winter, come on...she's just 4 years old, she doesn't need to think about such horrible events, you know, death and all that yucky stuff".  Noooooo...you're right I should just start lying to my child about one of the most IMPORTANT fundamental truths of the Christian faith and let her believe that the easter bunny, dying eggs, and baskets filled with candy is what it's all about.  If I lie to her about the Resurrection, then I should also lie to her about the Virgin birth of the Savior, because how can she even begin to wrap her 4 year old mind around all of that.  Yes...you're right flying rain deer, pulling a sleigh carrying an overweight (possibly diabetic) jolly, man who leaves presents for little boys and girls (after he breaks into their houses) is a much more believable and better idea to get in her head. 
     I realize that I probably sound like a hypocrite to everyone.  I grew up singing Christmas songs, decorating a tree, opening presents, hunting eggs, and getting exciting about the candy in my easter basket.  Likewise, this is Katie's 4th easter and this past December was her 4th Christmas; she got gifts and she got an easter basket.  I will point out that Santa was never mentioned (in our house) to Katie: she got gifts from Mommy, Grandma and Papaw, KayKay, A.A....you get the point.  Now to get the meat of my story!  I feel very strongly about how weak the Christian church is in America. I see the enemy destroying the Christian church in America from within, by minimizing the destructive reality of incorporating pagan worship into true Christian events.  The high rate of college aged kids (who grew up in traditional churches) that stop attending church, change faiths, or become agnostic or atheist shortly after graduating high school.  I truly believe the reason they so easily leave the beliefs of their parents is because their foundation is based on lies.  All it would take is a learned Agnostic/atheist person to ask them "do you believe Jesus was placed in the tomb on "good Friday" and rose on Sunday?"  When he/she replies yes, they will immediately be schooled at the math and the words of Jesus that stated he would be killed, buried, and come back after 3 days.  "Good Friday" could not be the day that Jesus was buried, because for Him to rise again (and already be gone from the tomb) by Sunday morning 3 days (full days) would not have passed, making your celebration of Friday as being the day of Jesus' death wrong OR making the Bible a lie. 
    What I am sharing is (obviously) MY belief, my thoughts, my words (no one else).  There are others, who feel the same way I do and might do a better job of explaining this.  I don't share this to make anyone feel bad or wrong about how you choose to celebrate these 2 events.  I share this to simply ask you to step outside of "tradition" and really TRULY examine your heart and the truth that is found in The Word of God. 

HAPPY RESURRECTION DAY!

Um, yeah...so it's been a while huh?

     This post is just to acknowledge that it's been a while since I posted anything. Is it because I ran out of things to talk about, or is it because writing is just sooooo difficult?  It was neither; I get easily distracted and I....ooh piece of candy! Seriously though, there will be more to come I'm just gonna post this to make sure I can even still post things. LATER!!!

Where Oh Where Has My Little Win Gone?

For all those who thought (was slightly concerned) I had fallen off the face of the earth, don't fret because, well.....I haven't. I do want to start out my post with some good news, in reference to Mrs. Tinsley. She is doing great, the tumor has decreased greatly and there is barely any fluid on her lungs. The medication she is taking now unfortunately has given her a bad rash, but beyond thought she is still thankful and enjoying life!!!! Thanks to all who prayed for her and her family, I know she coveted each and every prayer.

Now for what's been going on with me, to keep me away from here. Some people may question my reasoning for even posting this..."your opening yourself up for possible hurt" they may say. I want to do this because: 1) If it helps someone or myself by being so open, that's great. 2) My parents and most of my friends around here know and still love me, so if anyone else wants to criticize me then fooey on you. 3) The people who would read this, I believe to be people who care about me and will hopefully continue to care about me after. 4) I believe in being open and honest and the truth shall set me free and all that jazz. Ok, here goes....

On November 1st I was sent to the Glenwood Behavioral Unit for suicidal thoughts and cutting on myself. I was there for 6 days and then attended an intensive out patient program in Monroe. I have been diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and now have to take a butt load of medication. Some of you may have known that I have struggled with depression since I was about 12 years old, but most have not. In fact my best friends in high school didn't know, because I was very good about hiding what was going on in my head. Stacy Johnson and Lauren O'Brien found out one very difficult night in 1999, which (I don't know if they'll ever see this) I could never thank them enough for. I would try to talk to friends and church folk about it, but the answers were usually the same: "just remember that there are people who have it worse than you", "don't focus on the negative stuff", "things really aren't that bad", and my all time favorite "just pray about it". Please do not misunderstand me, those are all good nuggets of advice but don't ever think that by saying those things that everthing is copacetic, because it wasn't with me. I know that everyone I went to did the best they knew to do, I don't doubt that for one second. Unfortunately, my depression was not just a day or two event or even seasonal. It's very difficult to explain how you feel and the thoughts you think when you have chronic or major depression, to someone who has never had depression like that. I believe that everyone, at some point in their lives, will experience some form of depression but it usually passes after a short while. However, I had found that it was sooooooooooo difficult to find someone who understands, so I decided to not talk about it (like it was gonna magically disappear). So about six months ago, (as my depression worsened) I began to withdraw from friends, church, and any type of social event. The isolation deepened my depression, hopelessness, thoughts that noone loved, and then inevitably thoughts that noone would miss me. It's a very horrible cycle, that I don't wish on anyone.
"Why is she being so open, and on the internet for crying out loud?" you may ask. To which I would have to say.................good question. I guess I just don't want to feel like this is something I need to be ashamed of and hide from the rest of the world. I hope that if anybody reading this has this same struggle or someone they care about has it and they don't know what to do or say, maybe I could be some sort of help. Or maybe it's the same thing that anyone else would do if they had been diagnosed with diabetes or some other illness they didn't ask for or want. I guess I'm asking for your prayer support through this diagnosis and coming to terms with it. So now you know and................................................



knowing is half the battle (according to G.I. Joe).

Please Pray....

I haven't posted for a while, and I really wish I had better news to write about. I want to ask for special prayer for a Very Dear Dear lady. If you went to HHS prior to '99, you may have had her class and loved it ( I know I did). Even if you don't know her I would still ask that you bombard heaven with request for her healing. I asked this very Special lady if I could put this request online, to which she very emphatically said YES!! So, here goes. Mrs. Louise Tinsley has been diagnosed with stage 3b lung cancer (Plueral Efussion). The doctors are treating like a stage 4 cancer. Mrs. Tinsley has not had much pain, if any, which has the doctors stumped. My mom and I both (and Mrs. Tinsley) know it is because of Jesus. Mrs. Tinsley's faith has been tremendous and she just continues to Praise her Father in Heaven for what He is going to do through her. If you are reading this and you are a Believer than you know that there is nothing that God cannot do. We are asking that no matter the outcome, God gets ALL the glory. Mrs. Tinsley wanted me to pass on to any of her former students that may read this, she wants you to know how much she has loved and appreciated every student that she has had cross her path. Know that she loves you. I would ask that, if you could, just send her a note of encouragement to either one of her email addresses lwt1927@oeccwildblue.com or lwt1927@hotmail.com I know she could use the blessings. Please don't put limitations on God, He is still mighty and no cancer is bigger than He is. Thank You and God bless you all.

A Dispatchers Life Is The Life For Me!!!

I need a break!!!! I love my job, don't misinterpret anything I'm going to say, I really do love my job. However... If I just had to deal with my coworkers, my job would be swell (with just occassional dealings of lunacy). Unfortunately I have to deal with the public and a fairly good amount of the public I deal with are I-G-N-O-R-A-N-T!!!! You may say, "Winter that's not nice" or "Winter you shouldn't be so judgemental" to which I would have to respond "Get over it!" If you did not agree with me on some scale, then one of two things is apparent 1) You do not deal with the general public and therefore cannot possibly begin to comprehend how aggravating and discouraging STUPID people can be or 2) You have a drug or alcohol problem (wether prescription or not) that keeps you super mellow or oblivious one. OUCH! Yes... shame, shame you know my name. Now before you get all super spiritual on me, let me give you an example of a call that I could get on any given day, this one just happens to be an acutual call I took yesterday. (Everything in red will be me and ( ) represents what I'm thinking.) Lincoln Parish Sheriff's office... Yeah I'm here at Lincoln Hospital and they called me and said my brother has been shot 3 times and they said he ain't here and the call came in on the i.d. lincoln hospital and I drove from monroe and now they're saying he ain't here. Sir, sir, who is they? Someone called from that lincoln hospital number and gave my brother's name, date of birth, and social security number and said he's been shot so I drove up here and now they're saying they haven't seen him. Who did you speak with on the phone from the hospital? I don't know they just called and said my little brothers been shot and I drove all the way over here and noone has seen him and I want him found. Well sir, the sheriff's department has not received any calls about anyone being shot tonight, have you tried calling the Ruston Police dept.? Why? I would think that the sheriff's dept is better. (keep in mind at this point he is extremely agitated) Sir, it has nothing to do with being better. The police dept covers everything in Ruston, they handle thier own calls. The could have had a call concerning someone being shot, you would have to speak with them about it. You mean ya'll don't know a damn thing that's going on in the city! Sir, they would only notify us if they needed assistance or they had a chase that took them out of the city into the parish. Well, I'm from monroe and Ouachita parish Sheriff's is over the police dept!! (no they're not, moron) Sir, I'm well aware of who has jurisdiction where and no that is not how it is run. All I'm trying to tell you is that the call may have gone through Ruston and they may have information I don't have. This is bulls*** I want you to find my damn brother. Sir you're going to have to talk to us and give us a description of your brother, where he was last seen...Fine I'll f******* walk down there and give you something, where the hell are you? We're on 167 across from the First Baptist Church. (silence) Hello? Hello (new guy) Who am I speaking with? (names will not be mentioned to protect the ignant) As I was trying to tell your friend, we're going to have to have a desription of his brother, where he was last seen, and other information before we can go find his brother. That was my brother you were talking to and ma'am we're just trying to find my little brother. Someone called us from this number that came up lincoln hospital on the ID (you say it because maybe I'll have some sort of revelation from your tone when you say the same thing your brother has said ten times now!!) and we drove all the way from monroe to check on him and they're telling us he's not here and now someone just told us the fire dept hasn't made anykind of calls with a gunshot victim. Sir, have ya'll tried calling hospitals in monroe? No we got the call and rushed over here. We just need you to find our brother. Sir, is it possible this was a friend of your brothers making a prank call. This isn't funny!!! (no s*** sherlock) I'm not saying it is, it is definetly not funny. I'm just saying that if the call came from Lincoln Hospital, it could have been from the payphone because I know if your brother was there at the hospital, the staff wouldn't lie to you about him being there. Where was your brother last at? I don't know. Where does he live? I don't know. He lives from place to place, I think he might have been staying with his mom's ex-husband in calhoun. Oh, is that his dad? No! That's his mom's ex-husband. Now, while I'm having this mind numbing conversation one of the deputy's that was in the radio room visiting with me (I don't always have this luxury) called Ruston PD, Quachita S.O., Jackson Parish SO, and Union Parish SO none of which has worked anything along the lines of someone getting shot. So I relayed this information to my caller and tried to reinterate that unfortunately this was probably some horrible prank call, which I could understand getting angry about but not taking it out on the dispatcher who had nothing to do with the call in the first place!!! So we pick up after I've reiterated it was probably a prank call. Well, I guess my brother and I will just have to go kicking ass until we find out who called us and did this!! Sir, I wouldn't recommend that because for one thing you don't know who did this and two that will get you and your brother arrested. Yeah well this is bulls*** and someone is going to have to explain. Sir I understand your angry and you want to kick someone's ass, but you need to calm down and start calling people who might know where your brother is and see if anyone has seen him. Yeah, well thank you and I hope I never have to talk to you again! Ok, goodbye. Bye! CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!!!!!